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So, many of you out there have been wondering Where the hell is the next George R.R. Martin book?!?!? Well, I've given this careful thought and I've come up with the reason why George hasn't managed to get that novel handed in for our reading enjoyment.
THIS WOMAN IS THE REASON!
That's right! SHE is the reason that George hasn't gotten that book written! In my search for the answer, I combed through all of my past posts and pictures, looking for references to George R.R. Martin, and I discovered this photo among my pics of the Zombies Need Brains party at World Fantasy in Saratoga Springs, NY. It's now obvious to me that this woman, who is sitting so blatantly on George's lap, has somehow managed to distract Mr. Martin from his sworn duty to provide us geeks with reading entertainment. I have concluded that she WAS in fact, a REAL zombie and was not there for the good times to be had but for more nefarious reasons! I posit that in these seemingly harmless pictures, she was in truth EATING GRRM'S BRAINS! She is a new breed of zombie, so subtle that she can devour people's brains in the midst of revelry, with people watching, nay!, even TALKING to the victim!
THIS is who we must blame for the lack of Martin goodness! THIS is who we must find, as a mob, bearing pitchforks and lanterns! We must find her and force her to hand over George R.R. Martin's brains so that we can get our Song of Ice and Fire goodness!
Although we all know everyone is going to die in the end anyway.
THIS WOMAN IS THE REASON!
That's right! SHE is the reason that George hasn't gotten that book written! In my search for the answer, I combed through all of my past posts and pictures, looking for references to George R.R. Martin, and I discovered this photo among my pics of the Zombies Need Brains party at World Fantasy in Saratoga Springs, NY. It's now obvious to me that this woman, who is sitting so blatantly on George's lap, has somehow managed to distract Mr. Martin from his sworn duty to provide us geeks with reading entertainment. I have concluded that she WAS in fact, a REAL zombie and was not there for the good times to be had but for more nefarious reasons! I posit that in these seemingly harmless pictures, she was in truth EATING GRRM'S BRAINS! She is a new breed of zombie, so subtle that she can devour people's brains in the midst of revelry, with people watching, nay!, even TALKING to the victim!
THIS is who we must blame for the lack of Martin goodness! THIS is who we must find, as a mob, bearing pitchforks and lanterns! We must find her and force her to hand over George R.R. Martin's brains so that we can get our Song of Ice and Fire goodness!
Although we all know everyone is going to die in the end anyway.
